Sober

On August 3, 1991, I heard the voice of God. I was hung over from the night before and was about to load up on more booze, but for some reason on this day a package store that I frequented often decided to ask me for an ID. For a six-pack of beer. Three days before my 27th birthday. I didn’t have a valid ID however, as I’d succumbed to a nomadic lifestyle at that point – living in Northern NJ with no family, no friends, no money and no proper ID to buy beer. I stormed out cursing the manager, and when I stepped into the sunlight - I was blinded. Literally. I shut my eyes, fell to my knees and heard The Voice. It said, “My son – you have another chance.” And for the record, it sounded a lot like God’s voice in the Ten Commandments. To me. 

I don’t know how long I was on my knees out in front of that package store, but I know I was crying when I stood. The ultimate surrender, as it turned out. It was early afternoon, and I went back to my bed at the rooming house and slept till the middle of the next day. 

I’ll spare you the gory details of my life before that point, but let me sum it up this way – from the time I was 17 until three days before my 27th birthday, I drank alcoholically and suffered the consequences. I honestly believed I’d be dead by the time I was 30, and had even explored early check out once. It was an enlightening disaster that continues to shape the man I am today. 

I know I’m losing some of you here. I call it the Freak Factor. Everyone drinks. Especially in advertising. Especially writers. But I assure you, I’m fine with abstinence. I drank enough over ten years to satisfy most anyone for their lifetime.  If you’re out there thinking “He can’t hold his liquor” – that’s just silly. I could hold my liquor. A lot of it. More than you. And that was the problem. As for anyone who thinks I fear alcohol – wrong again. My wife drinks. Hell, I encourage her to drink. She doesn’t have DNA that turns her into a self-absorbed monster when she drinks. I don’t fear alcohol, I respect it. And as for anyone who thinks I’m a religious nut because I heard the voice of God in my head – I’m anti-religion. Not in a belligerent way, but rather that I think that by its very nature, religion is more exclusive than inclusive. Yes, I spend time on my knees every day giving thanks for a new chance in life, but I don’t push any agendas. I’m just a guy who was extremely lucky. By the grace of God, I have been delivered from the bondage of alcoholism for a life that I couldn’t even imagine back when I was drinking.

Nineteen years ago today God said to me, “My son, you have another chance.” Boy, was He right. I’ve since learned that God’s no dummy. As much as I try to control how things should be in my life, my knowledge about life amounts to something like a pimple on God’s ass. I trust God today. And by His grace, I don’t drink. That’s it. I'm no angel. 

I’m not writing this post to boost my ego or gain a bunch of new followers on Twitter, I’m writing it because nineteen years ago my life changed forever in a way that needs to be celebrated - by me. As a writer, this is my platform. As an ad man, not drinking is just damn ironic. But one helluva competitive advantage if you ask me. 

So I started this day off the way I’ve started every day for the past nineteen years - by rolling from my bed onto my knees to say a simple prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference

It's not really a prayer for things that I want in my life, but more a plea for acceptance - and it works for me. One of the most important lessons I've learned since turning my will over to God is that there are no coincidences. Which makes this fact even more amazing - the serenity prayer (above) is exactly 140 characters. 

***

Jim is a father, husband, copywriter and founder of smashcommunications. You can find him on Twitter @jmitchem. Contact him for a coffee anytime. 

Comments

[Vinyl_mike]

Happy Birthday, and anniversary!

[Jeffrey J Davis]

We all have our demons. Some of us eventually gain the strength to conquer them. Others watch and build courage to "take it on" from success stories like yours.

Congrats on winning and on sustaining a happy lifestyle. Keep it real, and Carpe Diem.

best,

Jeffrey J Davis
@jeffreyjdavis
www.jeffreyjdavis.com

[christian]

good for you, here's to another 18 and many more to come!

[Summer]

Congrats! And good for you for listening. I think God speaks to most people - we're not all smart enough to listen the first time.

So glad you got your life back. :)

[Jim Mitchem]

You're right Summer. I've since learned that too. Though me hearing has nothing to do with being smart, so much as I was knocked down so far that I had no choice but to listen - or just give up altogether. I'm glad I listened.

[Jim Mitchem]

Thanks guys. This was one of those posts that is simply just a window into my life - nothing more. Frankly, I had pretty much nothing to do with what has happened to me over time. The only thing I had to accept was that I couldn't drink anymore. With as much as my life has changed as a result of this enlightenment (and in trusting that God knows more than me about what's good for me), there is no power on earth that can convince me that drinking again is a good idea.

[tommartin]

Congrats my friend. Hope others will take strength in your example and maybe they too will hear a tweet from God that will help them find their way through life.
@TomMartin

[Jeff]

I'm proud to know and work with you.

[Kat Jaibur]

Jim, Jim, Jim.

What you did here today -- telling the world -- takes more guts than anything I've seen online. Anywhere.

(That includes the very big blogger who recently shared some pretty hard stuff about her childhood abuse... but then went off to get drunk before a colleague arrived.)

Congratulations on 18 years of sobriety -- which is a whole lot different than 18 years of "not drinking". They call it recovery because you get your life back, and you have more than done that in spades.

Yes, you may lose some "pals" or "fans", but only because they fear your B.S. detector might shine on them. You may also gain some new ones, and even help someone else find their courage. I'm pretty sure that will happen.

I find it insane that many of us feel we have to downplay our spirituality to avoid alienating the tough-talking hard-living crowd that makes up the ad world, and some parts of the online world. Crazy!

If I had to choose whether to work with a brilliant, talented ad person who was often hungover or maybe even still under the influence vs. a brilliant, talented ad person who shows up fully present and ready to move mountains... well, that's a 'no brainer' isn't it?

Any client worth his or her salt would feel the same. This is way too long for "Comments" but you have really moved me. I am so f-ing proud to know you.

Thank you, Jim, for listening to that voice. And for being for the voice for many of us who can create without being under the influence of anything but a love for life!

[edward boches]

I'll drink to that. Sorry, just had to say that. But a congratulations on all fronts: to the transformation, for the self recognition, to the wisdom that came with it, to the willingness to share. Enjoyed the story. All the way to the 140 character part. Acceptance, determination, strength are all great qualities.

[Jim Mitchem]

I don't even know what to say to that Kat. ;) Thank you.

[Jim Mitchem]

Thanks Edward. I feel very lucky.

[Jim Mitchem]

My Nana had that 'footsteps' thing in her bathroom. We lived in her house when I was a young child. I saw that damn thing every day. And yet, it still didn't sink in until 20 years later.

[writemo]

Excellent work, my friend! 18 years is a long road.
Kudos for posting this. A true inspiration.

[olivier blanchard]

I like you now even more than I did before reading your post, Jim. Well played. :)

[Teresa]

Whew! Powerful stuff. I totally understand about that DNA stuff. I was lucky, very recently, to have occasion to confront my DNA as it relates to alcohol--and it's not pretty (unlike the nice teeth I inherited). My husband is like your wife. I'm like you. The switch can be turned any time I have a drink. So I mostly turn them down now. Every day is a new lesson. Thank you for sharing yours. And that photo? Chills-inducing. Did you compose it or did it just happen? (You don't have to tell.)

[Jim Mitchem]

For me, it was basically just letting go completely and free-falling. At some point things got easier - that's when faith was rewarded, I think. My only job today is to not drink, and to get humble (getting on my knees). Like I mentioned, I'm no angel. I do a lot wrong every day - I just don't drink. I still remember what it was like to feel so shitty every morning. I hope I never forget that.

As for the picture, yes, I was holding up the iphone at the beach last month and got lucky. I was considering doing one of those really cool shots of me facing the camera with a sinister look on my face and then darken it to look ominous and introspective for this post - but decided that this one at the beach is more reflective of how happy I am with my life today. Thank you.

[Nichole]

What amazing courage and spirit and strength you have. I already detected those things about you, but this level of transparency puts you way up at the top of my list. You are a rare gem, Jim.

[Jim Mitchem]

But the truth is - I honestly don't think I had much to do with it. I am what I am. That's that. ;)

[Tracy]

You are an amazing guy and I am celebrating with you.

Getting to know you is a gift.

[Jim Mitchem]

Thanks Tracy. But really, I'm nothing special. Just a guy who doesn't drink. Oh, and who actually heard the voice of God in his head once. In fact, most people would say that's psychotic. Which is probably also true, but that's another post altogether.

[DC Grrl]

Keep on keepin' on Jim. You are obviously doing the right thing.

[Stacy]

Jim
Congratulations on your anniversary of LIFE! You chose wisely. There is nothing I can add to the comments left thus far except they are all lovely and you are so blessed.

Happy Birthday

[Seth Simonds]

Late to the game here as I'm just getting caught up on blogs.

1. I just noticed the footnote at the bottom of this page. Humor abounds.

2. Happy birthday!

3. That photo is the perfect one for this. A celebration of serendipity.

4. If the serenity prayer were meant to be shared, it'd be 120 characters long.

5. Seriously. Well done on making a clean go of your life. You express a lot of joy these days and I can only imagine it's a result of your continued efforts to do the right thing.

I'm glad to know you!

[Jim Mitchem]

I feel blessed. Thanks.

[Jim Mitchem]

Thanks Seth - but what's with the bullets? Dude, you're a copywriter. Don't tell me you're selling out!

[Bobby McDonald]

Jim,

I just found your blog on Twitter and have to pile on with a comment. 18 years is quite an achievement so first and foremost congratulations!

I like to drink and don't consider myself religious (just in Church for the 'big ones') but what an amazing post to share your transformation from pretty much rock-bottom to the successful, funny and outgoing person I look for when browsing Twitter! You can be as humble as you want but the persistence to stay sober and the courage to share your story are a pretty remarkable combo. Keep the good stuff coming.

Thanks,

Bobby
@bobbymcdonald

[Jeanne Veillette Bowerman]

Jim, we barely know each other, but in writing this, you let me peek inside your soul. Vulnerability is a beautiful quality. I have chosen to live my life being vulnerable, despite many assuming I am strong. Yes, I wrap a black belt around my gi, but it's only a veneer for the shaking little girl on the inside. It is much harder to be courageous in honesty than in physical strength. You are blessed, and I am blessed to have met you. Btw, anyone who would unfollow you after reading this is an ass. Congrats on your beautiful family and your beautiful life.

[Mike]

Jim,

Thanks for sharing your story and congratulations. That is not an easy thing to kick. See ya Saturday!

Mike

[Rebecca]

As the first person I followed who actually carried on a conversation with me, I automatically put you in a special category. Then I met your darling girls - through your Tweets. Now, I know you in a new way. And I celebrate with you, Jim. My eight-year anniversary is coming up Sunday~

[Genevieve]

Jim, what an amazing story and kudos to you for having the bravery and the courage to share it with the world. Not many people have the strength to quit and not many have the strength to share that story. Congratulations :)

[filthyfowl]

Jim, I know we are only acquaintances through the world of social media, but nevertheless I want to congratulate you on a huge milestone. What you've accomplished is no small feat.

[Emma Howard]

I'm so impressed. Thank you for sharing your 19th year anniversary of being sober. Congratulations!

[Janet Vanderhoof]

Love this, congratulations and you do need pat on the back. I'm glad you listened, not too many people can hear the words of God and at the same time listen. Thanks for sharing your wonderful story.

[sara hill]

massive.
congratulations, jim.
as an unabashed daddy's girl whose entrepreneur/ad man/copywriter
father nearly got swept away in his own ocean of scotch and whiskey,
until he similarly heard his own version of god 16 years ago,
i can tell you that this action not only saved his life--it saved mine.
time and time again.

[Chuck]

I did not know why I followed you on Twitter until this morning when the first post in my timeline was the Serenity Prayer. As someone with many less 24hour timeframes, in fact still struggling through the 1st 6 months of 'the rest of my life', your story really spoke to me. I've read this post probably 10x, read it to my wife, even shared with a 'meeting' tonight, as it was exactly what I needed to hear today. THANK YOU for showing me that it WORKS (if I work it)!

[Jim Mitchem]

Thanks everyone. Really. And hopefully you can take some comfort knowing that even when life gets you down, you're not entirely out.

[Jim Mitchem]

Wow Chuck - glad to hear my story had some impact. I swear when I first quit, I never ever thought I'd last. Not a year. Not a month. Not a day. Nineteen years later? Are you kidding me? It's ridiculous. And not so hard, once the complete surrender occurred. It'll happen for you too. Just listen patiently. And trust your ass off that it'll keep getting better. Because if it didn't, I wouldn't be here.

[Quietrumbling.blogspot.com]

Hi Jim,

I am often amazed by how open you are about the good things and the bad things in your life. I have a lot of respect for you as a result.

I have never really been a fan of alcohol because I could never drink it without masking the flavor. I removed it as a temptation in my life, and I haven't had any alcohol to drink for at least 5 years. I don't miss it. (My German ancestors are probably rolling over in their graves.)

All levity aside, this post is very powerful in its frank coverage of something that was literally killing you. I'm glad that you had your revelation/vision/etc., and that you chose a better path. You make my life richer for knowing you (even if only a little, and virtually at that), so I can only imagine how you enrich the lives of your wife and daughters.

Here's to many more anniversaries in sobriety!

Regards,
Dieter

[Linnea]

Happy (belated) anniversary -- and birthday! -- to you. I found you through that much-lamented "who to follow" list on Twitter, and clicked on your blog to see what you were about. I'd say I admire your guts for sharing it, but I daresay it takes more guts to live it day-to-day. I kept reading and your writing is incredible. You keep it real without being maudlin or strident. So, whether or not it was your intent, the post got you another follower both here and on Twitter.

[Jim Mitchem]

Thanks, Dieter. I agree about the enriching stuff too. Virtual is a lot better than nothing.

[LisaMarieMary]

Hey Jim! It's GREAT to meet you, dude! I found you via Jason Falls' Healing Place post. I'll have 19 years at the end of January and I thought I'd just say hello to a fellow traveler! I'm loving your blog, too!